memyselfnie

Now that the economy is opening back up,

will there be pet masks? It seems inevitable.

Smokers masks? There just may be be a little

hole for them. Will there be jumbo packs of

(disposable) oral diapers? Plenty of empty shelves for em,

and fear combined with a little cognitive dissonance

can do miracles.

Despite any real evidence, (masks were at

first poo-pooed as not effective) we were

told the bug got in thru the eyes.

A few wore em anyway, then

more than a few, now in most places it’s mandatory,

don’t leave home without one. Don’t leave home

period, but if you do, wear a mask. Wash your

hands too, remember, we’re all in this together!

But, to the best of my knowledge, no one has

sacrificed any virgin into a volcano yet, and

it’s not because there’s any shortages of active

volcanoes, or that no one has thought of that yet!

In fact, I’m pretty sure it’s coming.

The Good news is: there’s no more talk

of collusion, no more impeachment,

the climate change and global warming

crap is outta the news cycle,

spring has sprung, and everybody is getting

a check!

(just thought I’d put that out there)

And oh yeah. The sky has stopped

falling.

But, ya still gotta stay home,

wash your hands, and stay

at least six feet away from anybody

who thinks it’s more dangerous than

the flu to get any closer than that.

But there is hope.

Next month, it’ll be straight to Walmart.

It’s right around the corner. Everyone WILL

need a lear jet. President Trump almost let

a good crisis go to waste, then it was 2.5

billion (which wasn’t enough) but the

common greed of everyone prevailed,

and a little over 8 billion was settled on.

It was a start. Chickin feed compared to

2 TRILLION, but a mighty hurl of lucre was

called for to stem the statistically insignificant.

Last year’s flu was more dangerous, but now,

medi-scare-for-all!

The media continues to hyper-hype 24/7 with

updates every 5 minutes, cause you gotta

know how many confirmed cases and how

many suspected fatalities can be breathlessly

reported. The great and all powerful OZ sent

some hospital ships, called up some national

guard, and invoked the Defense production

proclamation, but for God’s sake, stay home

and wash your hands!

(oh yeah, even though the mexican beer virus seems to

be impervious to masks, everybody’s doing it,

so put yours on now!)

Just remember, we’re all in this together.

As a remarkable American once observed,

there’s lies, damn lies, and statistics.

The latter always open to interpretation,

that’s often how we get the first two.

So, with both eyes open, I offer mine,

take it or leave it.

A warmer winter could just be normal

weather.

Could be global warming.

Fact is, I had the snow blower fixed,

hasn’t snowed since.

You’re welcome.

The whole world’s in a tizzy about

the Mexican beer virus.

Could be one of the too many military

bio-weapons escaped or was intentionally

unleashed upon an unsuspecting world.

Could be a weak strain of the flu combined

with TDS, which mutated, the resulting

super bug stampeding the herd like there’s

no tomorrow.

Fact is, it’s a new day, and you’re still here.

You’re welcome.